With a family our size (family of 6 plus our 4 legged family member), there is always someone getting upset with another. Voices can be raised, tensions increase, and anger flaring. Any time there are two people in a relationship for a length of time, there will eventually be conflict.
I work with families all the time that are exhausted from all the fighting in their house. They often feel the one thing they do well is fight. However, just because they argue often does not mean they fight well. When you fight with your spouse, or a family member, you are fighting against your marriage and against your family. When you fight with family, you are fighting the wrong enemy. Your spouse or family member is NOT the enemy.
Fighting is important. It tells what the person is passionate about, it reveals their values and priorities, it shows an intentionality. I want you to fight, I encourage you to fight. Fight for your family, fight for your marriage, fight for your children, fight for your family’s heart, fight for the longevity of your family’s relationships.
'When you fight with your spouse, you are fighting against your marriage and against your family'
When you approach a fight, you have to know who the real enemy is. When we argue at home, we often label that person as the enemy. However, when you do that you are fighting against your family, not FOR your family. So yes, I do want you to pick a fight. Do it intentionally, do it regularly. Let your family know that they matter enough for you to want to pick this fight. So who is the enemy in which you are fighting against? The enemy is anything or anyone that gets in the way of your family. Maybe it is electronic devises, work, hobbies, sports (yes, that was hard for me to say that), maybe its anger, another person, or anything else that gets in the way of your family. It is time for you to fight, it is time for you to fight the real enemy, it is time you get rid of anything that gets in the way of your relationships with your family. Stand up and fight FOR your family. Fight FOR your marriage. Do not let the enemy steal your joy, kill your relationships, and destroy your family.
When your fight is against the real enemy, you and your family can get on the same side, and together fight against whatever is getting in the way of your relationships. Once the enemy has been identified, then you have a better chance of defeating that enemy.