I recently heard a story of a couple and recent conversation they had. The wife was encoruaging her husband to not make a certain financial decision regarding a nice car he had been keeping his eye on for a while. He had been wanting this certain car for many years and he felt he was financially in a place to pull the trigger and go for it. When they had talked about this decision, they both agreed they were able to purchase a vehicle. However, they disagreed about which vehicle was better.
The vehicle he was looking at was his dream car, and within his budget. From his perspective, it was a win-win. He got his dream car and was able to stay within the budget they had both agreed upon. However, her idea was to get a more ‘practical’ car and one that did not have such high up-keep costs. Although they disagreed, he made that purchase anyway. He loved it…for about a month, until it broke down and started to have some problems which were very expensive to fix.
Everything within the wife wanted to say ‘I told you so…’ to her husband. However, she refrained. She got it! She understood the power of her choices and how it would impact their relationship. Her response was simple support and encoruagement.
Now, I want to be clear that I am not referring to enabling destructive behaviors or other choices that would severly the impact your marriage or future relationship. However, when it comes to most everything else, the small mistakes do not really matter in the grand scheme of things.
Supporting each other in their mistakes, even when we disagree with their choices, sends a very powerful message that this woman had fully come to understand. She was offering a strong, dedicated friendship despite thier differences. Deep, intentional, and intimate friendship in marriage is the key to successful relationships. It is not about being right, it is about being healthy!
Next time your spouse makes a mistake, gently offer your support. Let them know that they are more important to you than your being right. Send the message that you have their back regardless of what happens in this relationship.